In 2019, I attended the Romance Author Mastermind Conference hosted by the most talented and amazing Skye Warren. It was my second year attending (I’m going back in 2020 too!) and while both years I absorbed incredible amounts of knowledge from industry leaders in romance, there were a few main points that really stuck with me this time. Sorry, I feel like backstory is needed for this post, but I promise I’ll get to the meat and potatoes of the point soon.
At RAM in 2018 Cora Seton did a lightening round discussion about realistic writing goals. It was a beautiful breakdown of how much a person could potentially and realistically write in a year because she was struggling with the dreaded burnout. Side note: the amount of words I could write using her magical formula was exactly the same from the previous year so not much has changed in that realm for me.
In 2019, she did the same type of talk called “Radical Planning for Career Authors” but it was more than that, over an hour long, with pretty packets and inspirational talk. Although she said it was somewhat “woo”, I was all about it and it was one of those ‘you really had to be there’ moments, which I believe encapsulates the heart and soul of RAM. Anyway, during this presentation we were asked to choose a word that would represent our upcoming year.
I thought about it for awhile. I needed one word that would drive my 2020. A word that was meant to help with my decision making, one I’d honor wholeheartedly. I know some people didn’t take it as seriously, but for me, it was everything, and something I’d never done before.
The word I chose was FEARLESS.
I spoke about this in one of my youtube videos about how that word would help drive my decisions in my writing, in my life, and for my future.
….and here we are.
I’m writing this post at 2:35AM on February 12th. I should be asleep. I had every intention of going to bed early so I could be at the hospital early tomorrow to see my dad. I should be doing a lot of things considering my life has been turned upside down and I feel like I’m behind on everything, but the reality is I’m not. I’m online writing this post–my first post on this website which is exciting and scary all at once.
I built this site in 2018 with plans to launch it soon afterward. There was only one person who saw it and messaged me on Instagram to let me know that the link wasn’t forwarding people to my youtube channel anymore. Whoops…lol! Previously, I had the domain forwarded to make it easy for people to find my videos, but then I had the bright idea to actually make a real website, like this one. Tonight, as I was migrating our kennedyfoxbooks.com website to an updated hosting plan, I saw this domain and website sitting there doing nothing.
I remembered how I wanted to launch it, how I wanted a place to share my literary life and journey with my little grassroots community. I didn’t want it to be tied to my pen names because lord knows I already have two and who’s to say what the future will hold for me. The Courtney Project website was meant to be something separate from a pen name or genre, an extension of me, where I could talk about it all. So when I was on vacation in Sept 2018, I took a few hours and made this site then I never launched it. It’s been locked down for nearly 18 months and I thought deeply about why. And then I realized it was fear that drove me to not launch it.
The fear of my own personal failure of keeping up with it, the fear of being too open and honest, the fear of it being a complete waste of my time. So, tonight, I said screw it and made it public because that’s what being FEARLESS is about. Simply put: it’s about doing the damn thing. And while those things may happen–I might fail or be too personal or waste my time–at least I tried, and trying is often half the battle.
Truthfully, I don’t know how many people will come here and read this. I don’t know how many people will even care that I have a website where I talk about anything and everything that has to do with my publishing journey. But that’s okay because sometimes we do things for the absolute joy of it with zero intentions other than to put thoughts and experiences out in the world. And right now, having this outlet might be good for me.
This week, my life will change indefinitely for the better (I hope). I haven’t made any formal announcements of what’s going on and have been fairly quiet online, but I’m sure if you’ve been around for awhile you’ve already figured it out. I’m not nervous about my decision, because I know deep down in my heart it’s the right thing to do. It’s something I’ve wanted for nearly a decade and the universe is telling me it’s my time to make it happen. So I am. Sorry to tease and be vague AF, but an official announcement will come soon regardless of how antsy I am to scream to the world right now. Just a few more days and you’ll all see how FEARLESS I really am. And damn, that’s empowering.
Before I go, I wanna know if you choose a word for the year. If so, let me know what it is down below!
In 2020, I will be FEARLESS in my decisions, and so far I’ve lived up to that one word and will continue to do so for the next 10 months.
The sky really is the limit when you punch fear in the face and bet on yourself.
This is me doing just that…being FEARLESS.